"Ivolet had been known as the general's daughter for only two days, but she already believed it. She liked walking beside her new father through the palace halls, her small, seven-year-old fingers dwarfed in his great warrior's hand. She nodded to the salutes as if they were meant for her and not him, smiling charmingly and making a good on the sultan, who had chosen to join them the afternoon she met Daniel."
A Quick Question
So I have a question to 'put to the group,' as it were. Is the following too much for an opening paragraph? (I know there may be unanswered, and that's okay.) Is it too much of an overload? Does it make sense?
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I don'y think it's an overload. just one place where you could delete...
She nodded to the salutes as if they were meant for her and not him, smiling charmingly --
I would take out the "and not him" in the above. And not him is redundant.
Sounds interesting. I'd like to know how she got to be his daughter in 2 days though.
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