Third Time's a Charm

So there are these revisions I'm going to be working on as soon as I write the email saying so. {Two reasons I haven't written the email yet: 1) Returning emails in a timely manner is turning out to be quite the art form, and 2) My decision-making process is naturally elongated. We'll leave it at that.}

It's going to be interesting. One of the revisions involves a certain character, a character I single-handedly killed, to remain alive. I'm actually rather enthusiastic about this. For a few reasons:

1. I like this character. Always did. And I would love for there to be continued interaction with this character and Jenn. They have great rapport.
2. When my beta reader read this, she commented on how sad she was that the character died.
3. My first R&R was disappointed by the death, as well.
4. Thus, this third R&R is the third mention of it. And I guess third time's a charm.

Thus, I'm excited. There were aspects of the end of the book that I never quite loved, but I couldn't put words to it. Now I have a starting place--not killing the character--and can rewrite the ending!

~~This blog post has been interrupted by the muse: Melody apparently does not remember what agony we endured at the hands of this ending. The concept of rewriting the ending does NOT deserve an exclamation point.~~

Do not annoy me with memories of the past, dear muse. We shall pretend that those tears were never shed.

Oh, we shall, shall we? We'll see about that when you actually knuckle down and get to work rewriting this ending. Oh, I'm sorry: rewriting this ending!!!!!!!!!

The Tiny Voice

(Book banning soap-box may, or may not, continue tomorrow. Depends on the mood...)

Remember those glorious 2000 words?

I liked them, a lot. Or I told myself I did. Inside, there was this little tiny voice that said, “That could be better. A lot better.”

I tried not to listen to the tiny voice, because, well, these words were one of my 'darlings.' I mean, how wonderful for her to cause a grand fire, burn down half the camp, and then get rescued by the daring and dashing Daniel? Pretty wonderful. (Yes, it gave me more plot holes than it filled, but hey!)

The tiny voice got louder yesterday when I opened the file. I was in a cozy little video editing room, surrounded by quiet only interrupted by the hum of computers, editing some video (my other...talent, I guess you would call it). I had hours of uninterrupted time on my hands. And the not-so-tiny voice said, “This is good, but it's not what you want. You want something better. No, you do not need to wait for your agent to tell you that and then work it out with them. You need to work it out now.”

Do you know how many words I was looking at cutting? Four thousand, eight hundred and nineteen.

I hemmed. I hawed. I considered how sick I was of this story and how I wished I could move on to other things. I considered how awful I would feel if I quit this story after spending ALMOST A YEAR exclusively on it.

I deleted 4819 words. :'(

And I wrote new ones. And the new ones beat the old ones BY A MILE. There's no more fire and no more rescuing. There's just a scene that I've been building towards that I assumed would be boring. But it's nowhere near boring now! Dramatic. Angsty. Sweet-and-romantic-that-quickly-turns-dark. It's beautiful. (And also fills a lot of those plot holes.)

I'm still a chapter behind where I was, but it's okay. Where I am in this story is so much better than where I was. Happiness!

Total deleted words for this draft? 14,412. Dude, that's half a novella.

Letting Go

So I would have posted yesterday, except I didn't really have anything to say except:

I WROTE THIS SCENE ON TUESDAY AND IT TOOK ME AN HOUR. *insert Word crash* NOW IT'S TAKING ME 2+ DAYS TO WRITE IT AGAIN! ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

It's really, really hard to write something you've already written, especially when the original was so darn good. (I can say that, now that it's gone.) It flowed so smoothly when I was writing it, and the dialogue made sense when it was read, and it was just so perfect.

And now it's gone. And I'm trying to resurrect it. And failing.

It's actually becoming a bit of a lesson. I have a tendency to keep a tight grip on things of the past: friendships, conversations, moments, beliefs, dreams, plans. I expect the friendships I made when I still lived in another state to continue now that I've lived in Texas for ten years. Relationships I've had with people in Texas have ended, or at least ended in the way that I knew them, yet I still find myself wanting to bring back those 'good times'.

You can't. I can feel the lesson being taught as I try to rewrite this scene. You have to let go of what once was and is no more. You have to uncurl your fingers from the past and stop using it as your standard. You have to turn your face away from shadow forms and look forward down the road. Good times are ahead of you, but you'll miss them if you're looking backwards.

It was a good scene. It really was. Not many times have I written something better.

But it's not coming back. I have to press on. I can't try to write the old scene, no matter how good it was. I have to write a new scene. Drawing on my memory of what I wrote will leave me with something sub-par. No, you have to create again. Create the future, and create it anew. Create something fresh. And don't use recycled pieces of the past.

Haha, waxing philosophical are we?

Eugenides beats Katniss Everdeen WAAAAAAT?!!?!? Now he's on to fight Tamora Pierce's Alanna (who beat Aragorn - not cool). He'll beat her. Here is what I have discovered. All these characters he's fighting are headstrong and impulsive. (Come to think of it, most YA characters are. Hmmmm, do I sense a blog post topic?) However, my Eugenides is anything but headstrong and impulsive. Cunning. Strategic. Even-tempered, except when he loses his temper. (Yet he'll never lose his temper when in danger.) Smart. Secretive. Did I mention cunning? I'm impressed that a character with no magic has come this far... Dare I hope that he will win?????

I'm Scared

Inspired (read: prodded) by Shannon Whitney Messenger's post about fear, I'm going to tell you one thing I'm afraid of:

Critique. Now.

I know what you're thinking: I'm afraid of hearing that my story isn't that good, or that it needs a lot more work. That I'm afraid of criticism. And while prepping myself to hear these things takes a HUGE grittingoftheteeth/deepbreath/mightthrowup-ness, it's actually something else.

Impatience.

This is my third draft, and I'm planning on it being my final draft. I had planned on just running full throttle with it without a critique partner because I didn't have one. However, one post by Agent Mary from kidlit.com changed everything. The July Critique Connection. (Which is amazing and you should check it out;it's basically an opportunity to find critique partners of your genre.)

There I was. Finally with an opportunity to find a critique partner. Fleeting fancies of those friendships all the other blogger people talk about. And realizing, if I get a critique partner, she's going to find a gazillion things in my MS that I need to fix.

And this will not be my final draft.


I'm a very patient person. I really am. And while I had a few pity parties about my lack of critique partners, I kind of shrugged it off like, "Well, God hasn't brought the right critique partner into my life yet. Darn. Guess I won't have to revise the stupid thing yet again!" (Patient? Or in denial?)

As you may have guessed, I haven't written anyone yet (though there are some people I'm very interested in contacting). I'm just...yeah, scared. Scared of the new stage of writing I'll be entering when I find a critique partner. Scared that I'll do a lousy job, because I've never critiqued anyone seriously (though I am a real stickler for grammer, a trait never seen on my blog because, well, if I proofread this thing every day, you'd never get a post). Scared that I won't be able to help them. Scared that I'll be told my book needs a lot of work. A lot of work, when I was planning on querying in the fall.

Here I am, being honest about what I fear. By the time you read this, I may have psyched myself up enough to email a couple of people. Maybe.

Not sure that I have any questions for you. Encouragement and motivation is welcome. :) But do you have a critique partner? Has having one altered your writing schedule - as in, when it's finished? Is the delay worth it?

Because I don't know if I can handle more delay...

Wishing My Fingers Were Flying

Since I've already written the book twice, I have a pretty good idea of what's going on. And while I had an extensive, seven-page outline for the second draft, the third draft has nothing of the sort. It works pretty well, because I'm basing it off of the first and second drafts and using them as outlines. It's not seat-of-my-pants writing, but neither am I strictly following a pre-written outline.

It works. For me.

However, it also involves a halt and a pause every few chapters to figure out what exactly is going to happen next. I know it in general, but now comes the part of figuring it out, putting it in order, making sure I'm not focusing too long on Ivolet without checking in to see what Daniel has been up to. It's time-consuming.

And very boring. I just want to go! and let my fingers fly and the story take wing. It's ready. But if I did that, I'd have something akin to my first draft - and that is not something I want to be sending in. So I restrain myself and plan and outline and make tables of each army's military strength at any given time. Ack.

I like planning and organizing and administration. It's in my blood. (Phelgmatic) But right now I'm exhibiting that lovely streak of Sanguin and am very impatient. COME ON! Let's write already! I want the word count to keep rising!

What about you? Are your fingers flying today? Or have they slowed due to planning (or writer's block, or Independence Day, or [insert random hindrance here])?

See, I told you I'd be back!!

Late in the Game

I actually wrote over 2000 words yesterday. They were hard-fought words, but by day's end they were written. (Now do it again today, right?)

Thanks to my writers block breakthrough, as well as the merging of the 1st and 2nd drafts into this third one, I'm having to add in some scenes. See, I already knew that Tash and Ivolet crossed the ocean at the same time. I just hadn't planned for them to go together. Yet here they are, on the same ship, and it's working out quite well because Tash is a Plegmatic/Melancholy who has read a ton of books. He's very able to answer all of Ivolet's questions and explain the legality of showing up and claiming a throne.

Yet I'm still cringing. I really didn't want to have to be writing anything new during this draft, especially conversations I just realized existed. But here I am. I think the writing went well. (I'll read it again, after a good night's sleep, and find out).

So what about you? When you're in the final draft, or the finishing stages, of a novel, how do you feel about adding stuff? Conversations? Minor plot points? Is this part of your routine, or does it make you mad when you have to add something so late in the game?

1000 Words = Fist Pump

Yesterday, I forbade myself to write a blog post until I wrote 2000 words. I only wrote 1000, which was 1000 more than I've written in the past two weeks, which is why you're not receiving this post at 6:00 AM. (You really didn't think I got up that early. Did you? Because...I really don't. Thank you, Blogger, for scheduled posts.)

However, those 1000 words broke the writer's block I didn't know I had. I thought I just didn't have time (liar, liar, pants on fire), and I thought I just needed more than 15 minutes to settle into the story. Actually, I needed more than 15 minutes, but not to settle in. I had to inspect, magnify, peruse, and generally exhaust my mind in figuring out how things would fit together.

I didn't think it could be done. I was already playing around with a suggestion of Katie Mills (aka Creepy Query Girl) from her comment on one of my "the characters won't do what I want!" blog posts. (It's here.) And yesterday, some things just fell into place and I was like, "YES!" #fistpump (Yeah, I'm slowly learning Twitter-speak.)

It was amazing. Life was good again. The sun came out. (Not really. It's been raining for three days. But figuratively speaking.)

I was so excited that I wrote it in PENCIL on REAL PAPER this paragraph of why so-and-so is doing what etc.. etc... etc... (reminisce The King and I). And THEN I WROTE 1000 WORDS (...not on real paper).

So, yesterday was a glorious happy day for me, even if there was no blog post to wake you up in the morning.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS: And many thanks to Katie Mills (aka Creepy Query Girl), who had no obligation to do the work of a critique group, but saved me from writer's block regardless.

I never realized how long of a word 'acknowledgments' was. 

R2-D2

My characters uncharacterized themselves on me. It was really quite cruel.

You see, D2 (Draft 2) sultan was scheming and conniving, very wise, very astute, possibly thought cruel, but I really liked him. He knew what was going on with everyone, all the time, and he manipulated events to his pleasing. (Remember the Conspiratorial Characters?)

And I just realized that D2 sultan killed his own son. It took me that long to get that. Not, like, directly, but he, in all his event-manipulating, must have realized that Tash would die.

Which leaves me with a problem. I really like the sultan. I think he's cool. And I want my readers to like him too, to realize his brilliance and agree that he's pretty cool. Which they won't do if the guy goes off and kills Tash.

Did I mention that Tash is a Melancholy/Phlegmatic and actually cries at one point (as an older teen, so it's a big deal)? You can't just have the sultan kill this guy and think that everyone will love you for it. They won't. Or, at least, they won't love the sultan.

"What to do?" I asked myself.

Myself replied, "Maybe Tash was planning treachery."

Great. Just great. The sultan's getting more paternal and Tash is a villian? This can't be possible. Us writers can take twists, but not that great of twists. Tash is sweet. He is not a villian. He can't be.

So I can make D3 Sultan nicer, or D3 Tash meaner. Either way, stuff's gotta change.
...
...
UGH!!!!!

It's beyond frustrating to change character types. Because it tends to lead to all sorts of sub-plotting and such. It messes me up. I'm on my final draft. I should not have this problem! My brain is getting confused!!

What about you? Any startling revelations that your characters have given you lately?

(No, I don't know what the R2 stands for. I just liked the D2 aspect of it.)

What I'm Staring At

Hmmmm, something's missing. I've been staring a this for a quarter of an hour, but I just can't think of what...

Hate's An Ugly Word

Do you ever hate your novel?

Maybe I'm the odd one out this time around, but there are times when I just can't stand to look at it anymore. I walk out of the room and would be very glad never to have to return.

I feel rather awful about this. I wrote this story, conceived it in my head, gave it voice not once, or twice, but working on three times, and it's my baby. I really do love it. But there are times where I just...hate it. I wish I didn't have to come back to it. Maybe there's another piece of writing garnering my mental attention, maybe it's just that I couldn't stand to write anything more.

Does this happen to anyone else? Do you get so intimately aware of your characters that the lose their attitude and flavor? Do you get so sick of a setting that the idea of describing it just seems so pointless? Do you ever feel like you've been here before? (In the first draft...second draft...third...zzzzzzzz...)

It really is time to be done. I'm writing well, as well as I can, but I know I need to finish it quickly. To draw it out too far would be cruelty both to me and to the MS. Which means more time staring at Microsoft Office Word 2007. And my computer screen.

I'm so tired of this. My brain is drawing blanks on all things plotting.

I wonder if I could just stage some shipwreck or something. Everyone dies. Tragic. The end.

Yeah, that will work. (Not.)

Anyone have any encouragement? What keeps you going when you get - what should we call this? - writer's fatigue? Any blog posts that made your day? Any funny YouTube videos? Any inspirational stories of perseverance and success?

Running My Fingers Over My Hair

Has it really been since Saturday?!?!!? Wow. I'm so sorry. I've been pretty active in the blogosphere, reading and commenting more than I ever thought I would. Good stuff! I keep thinking I'll find the end of all these wonderful writer/agent/editor blogs. But I haven't.

Anyway, this week has been me trying desperately to finish enough things in a day to feel productive. Crazy. I haven't written much, haven't blogged at all (obviously), and the floors still haven't been cleaned. Which is disgusting. The laundry, however, has been enough to make me feel halfway satisfied.

Today I did write 2000 words. Barely. With much effort. Much, much effort. Much, much, exhausting effort.

I'm not sure why it was so hard. I think a large part of it is due to the fact that I changed a few things in a certain - pivotal - scene. I've written it all different ways in the preceding drafts, always trying to make the best sense of all the characters. So this time, I took a route I've been thinking of. It would have been easy in the first or second draft, because I wouldn't have been worrying so much about continuity and making-sense-ness. I would have just written it and hang the consequences.

But this is the third and final draft, so I very much have to care about consequences, and whether or not it makes sense, and that the word suddenly is way too frequently used.

While I was struggling through today's words, I sighed and ran my fingers over my hair. (I would say through my hair, except I wear a tightly pulled-back ponytail and running my fingers through my hair would mess everything up. Note to self: Make sure characters aren't wearing their hair up when they oh-so-dramatically run their fingers through their hair.) Anyway, I was struggling and running my fingers over my hair and down my face and...I didn't feel alone.

I knew that somewhere out there, at least one of my blogger friends was doing the same thing. Maybe. Hopefully. Thanks to Tosca Lee's WriterCam on Facebook, I know she would commiserate. Would you? Have you ever been sitting at your computer with a word count that is NOT what you want and run your fingers through (or over) your hair and wondered Is It Just Me? Because you are not alone. If nothing else, I'm here doing the same.

<-- Tosca Lee, author of Demon, Havah, and co-author with NYT Bestseller Ted Dekker. I don't feel so bad.

For more encouragement from the blogosphere, Elana Johnson reminds us not to give up over on Sara B. Larson's blog, and Kristin Cashore promises that the voices of hopelessness are normal and can be overcome. Be encouraged.

Oh, and yes, the music player is gone. Like the clog-soled shoes.

#ObsidianSoundtracks

Status? Daily goal of 2000 words met. Over 10,000 words total. Preface+3 Chapter are COMPLETE! (If you want this sort of update as it happens, you can follow me on Twitter. Or you can just check out the sidebar ---> over there. I actually just got the account so I could have the sidebar, not the other way round; I've found brief sentences are really therapeutic when I'm writing. I can blurt out thoughts - that no one hears, but hey! who's counting - and momentarily relax my head from plots and grammar. It's very nice. And I thought the thoughts would be a nice addendum to the blog. Hence the sidebar.)

Speaking of blog widgets, we are living the high life and have a music playlist now. Movie soundtracks, of course. I'm still not sure what I think of it; I like the coolness factor, but I think it may be a little much. Since I constantly have music running through my iTunes (as I type, Jesus Culture's "Fire Fall Down" is playing), I've actually found them a little annoying on other blogs. But it was just too...cool...not to pass up. What do you think? Too much? Is the immediate start annoying? Or do you just RSS Feed everything like I do and didn't even know that I had a music player. (I'm beginning to have a feeling that I've subscribed to a fad like over-sized sunglasses or the really weird clog-sole shoes that we all know are going to be gone in less than a year.)

Wait. This blog is all about writing, not blogging. What's up in the write-o-sphere besides being up to 10,000 words?

Well, I straightened out a kink in the plot. *silence* Okay, this is major cause for celebration, people! :) Every time I can make the plot smoother and more understandable, I rejoice.

At the beginning of the third draft, I introduced (bad idea, btw. don't introduce stuff in the third draft.) a...what's-it-called...a prop, I guess. But it's not a prop. It's something that gives Ivolet a headache for ostensibly unknown reasons whenever she sees it. And I wondered why I was introducing it.

I figured it out this morning. It's the plot jerk that will pull the narrative thread tight. I've been in a bit of turmoil because the first third of the book has one conflict, the second third has a different conflict, and the third returns to the first conflict. It was confusing, and it made the middle feel like the odd man out. (Poor middle.) The obsidian stone that I have introduced not only furthers the plot thread of Ivolet's amnesia, it also is significant of betrayal and is beginning to mark characters as good or bad or clueless. And it's going to last until the climax.

I'm very happy right now. I love the visual of pulling the narrative thread tight, and I think this is going to be what does it. It's binding everything together, creating a common theme for every chapter to hark back on.

Who would have thought that giving someone a ring of obsidian would make my writing life so good? This is probably the only time that introducing anything in the third draft is a good idea. I don't recommend it, because it usually ends up confusing. But today, it was good. I'm not introducing any new plots, only making everything so much clearer.

Hmmm, maybe I've found a semblance of a title? Something to do with obsidian. Isn't that a pretty word, obsidian?

Now for a little fun with the Songbird (or Thin Ice?) WiP (Work in Progress) as my reward for reaching both my daily (2000) and weekly (10,000) goals!

Does anyone get the (hopefully) witty post title? Imho...I'm a bit proud of it. Small pleasures.

No Intention of Slowing Down

This was written and supposed to be posted yesterday evening, but there was lightning. And when there's lightning, especially lightning that close, we unhook our internet cables. Soooo...

Successes today (er, yesterday):

1. Exceeded my 2000 words a day goal. Yay!!! This is the first time in a long time that I've been able to do that. (Though I'll need to do much better if I'm going to be done by *gulp* September 1.)
2. Finished the first chapter! (FINALLY! It's about time! I'm beginning to hate that first chapter with a vengeance. Please don't look at me again, First Chapter. I'd be really happy if it were weeks before I laid eyes on you again.)

Now for the plunge. Now to look back at the outline and figure out where I wanted to go, because I can't really remember - even though I've written this book twice already. Now to create, yet still hold fast to the story; now to imagine, yet still retain what we first thought up. Yep. This is hard.

I made a summer commitment today (er, yesterday). I debated about it long and hard, and I was really, really concerned about how it would affect my (little) writing time. I still am. But I felt God tell me to give Him that time and He'd give me the writing time I need. (And since the writing is all for Him anyway, well...) So here I am, working seriously with the youth of our small town this summer. I don't plan on it affecting my blogging, haha, and I have absolutely no intention of slowing down my writing. On the contrary, I plan to pursue it even more passionately. By God's grace, because it's all for Him anyway...

But right now (er, last night), I'm going to have a little fun with Songbird. Just for a little while. Because I just can't help myself.

The Allure of Princes & Songbirds

So here is hoping that everyone's Memorial Day was enjoyable and memorable.

On the spur of the moment, I went and saw Prince of Persia. I didn't have very high expectations, honestly, and my thoughts were something along the lines of, "Well, it's bound to be action-packed, and maybe I can gain some culture/setting ideas for Ivolet," since Ivolet takes place in a very ancient Persia sort of world. Granted, I did get some lovely Persia ideas, but the story was what floored me. It was good, very, very good; a character based off a video game was deep, very, very deep. WAY better than anticipated by the trailer, and I'm SO glad I saw it. I want to see it again. Anyway, it's chock-full of well-told allegories (which is probably why I like it) that I've been thinking it over since that fateful Sunday afternoon, and I'm in the midst of writing about all the allegories over here on the In Every Movie blog.

You would think that with all the beautiful clothes and architecture and sweeping-scenes-over-the-sprawling-city would have totally inspired me to return to Ivolet. (Poor Ivolet, she was abandoned in the interest of planning what turned out to be a 4.5 hour worship night.) But it hasn't.

Instead, I've got this story that honest-to-goodness just popped into my head (never discount the things that pop into your head). And it won't leave me alone, which is really annoying. Does that ever happen to anyone else? How do you concentrate on just ONE story?

I would have written it on Sunday, the day of rest and my day of writing rest, when I can write whatever I want. But, for the second Sunday in a row, I ended up too busy. Church, lunch, nursing home church service, Prince of Persia, Lark Rise to Candleford (yeah, LRtC was postponed in honor of replaying the Memorial Day concert; thank you, PBS). And this story, which we're going to call Songbird, isn't leaving my head just because Sunday got busy. It's still here, right when I should be writing about Ivolet and Daniel and detailing that stupid first chapter for the UMPteenth time, taking into account all my POV changes and the horrific calamity of last Thursday when I discovered that if you open an autosaved file from Word, it's not going to autosave that file until you actually legitimately save it again. (HINT TO ALL WORD USERS: SAVE IT OFFICIALLY WHEN YOU OPEN THE AUTOSAVED STUFF!!)

In all honesty, however, the loss of words was a blessing in disguise. I had gotten so confused with all my POV changes, both first-person and third-person, that it wasn't reading very well and the voice had all but disappeared. So, with no option but to write it from scratch, I have written something more fluid and readable. So, it's good.

Anyway, I'm off to the Ivolet grindstone, while I grit my teeth against Songbird and further allegory writing about Prince of Persia.

Pride Cometh Before A Fall

I thought I had the first chapter down. I really did. And then I started presenting myself with all these possible outcomes (If Ivolet is the main character, how come Daniel's thoughts/actions is how the first two chapters start out?). Knowing that I change point-of-views frequently enough to be noted, I had been taking my cue from that authoress I mention way too often - Megan Whalen Turner - especially from The Queen of Attolia. And then I wondered, why not write it like A Conspiracy of Kings.

I thought it would solve all my problems. ACoK has a third-person Preface, a first-person Part 1, a third-person Interlude, a first-person Part 2, and a third-person Epilogue. I was considering something very similar (except my Preface is first-person present-tense), and I thought it was brilliant. I knew just where the Interlude and Epilogue were. I thought it would help me with keeping secrets and revealing thoughts.

It messed me up. In the past three days the first chapter has been the following, respectively: third-person Daniel POV, first-person Ivolet POV, third-person Ivolet POV, first-person Ivolet POV, and now it's back to third-person Daniel/Ivolet POV. I've written more words, and deleted more words, than I ever had as a goal. It's rather pathetic.

And I've been switching, inserting "Ivolet" instead of "I", and "her" instead of "my" and "me". I know I haven't discovered my voice, exactly, but I do know quite well that Ivolet's voice is not my voice. Which means that inserting third-person words in a first-person story is not a good idea if you want to keep even a part of the proper voice for the story.

So, at this point, I'm sticking with third-person. It's what my first two drafts have been, and I'm sticking with what I know and what I know well. The first chapter of Ivolet will begin with Daniel's POV and switch somewhere in the middle to Ivolet's. Hopefully, I can do this fluidly and flawlessly and, most of all, unnoticeably. PLEASE! (Does anyone have any hints about this? Any stuff you've tried with success? Any articles/blog posts that would be of use?)

I used to see all these woes and helps about point-of-view and go, "Oh, well, glad that's not my problem!"

Pride cometh before a fall. Remember that.

(I've got another decision coming up, this time related to the blogosphere and not writing, but I think I'll put it in a separate blog post. Simpler that way.)

iTunes DJ

"This Old Man," by the Gotham Wind Symphony
"Lord of Eternity," by Fernando Ortega
"You Breathe," by Nouveaux
"American Kid (Karaoke)," by Go Fish
"Jolene," by Dolly Parton [!!!!! I downloaded this from AmazonFREEMp3 before I knew the song. I discovered the song a few weeks ago and am sitting her in ELATION because I have it on my iTunes! And I've been playing it on iTunes...okay, there's an allegory there. Anybody else see it?)

Supposedly Working

Me: I made a breakthrough on my story today.
Mom: Oh, the ice skating one?
Me: No, the princess one. The one I'm supposedly writing the third draft of. [sic]

Problem is, I don't want to write the third draft until I have it outlined and plotted out so nothing jumps out and surprises me again (necklaces that show up once, get lost, and never get searched for or found; treachery that I never intended; odd appearances of peaches - yes, peaches! - that make me wonder what I was thinking). And I don't want to outline it until I know exactly what I want, exactly what I want to keep from the former drafts, and what I have got to get rid of.

There are two colorfully typed pieces of paper on my floor right now, surrounded by my plethora of colored highlighters (thanks, Mom!) and colored pens (thanks, JW!) that list every single scene in both drafts. It feels like I spread my story out on my floor (if my floor could be covered by 194 8.5"x11" pages) and suddenly gained a superpower to defy gravity. This way, I can float above and point out the scenes I love and those that, well, I didn't (and thus know which ones to keep).

That's why I say I'm only supposedly writing it. I've been "working on" the third draft for several weeks now, but I haven't gotten past the first page of any actual prose, especially any prose that I liked. I've been messing around with the beginning, having recently realized that a slow beginning that builds to action is never going to hook an agent. (And, upon further inspection, not even a reader, which is ten times as important. I wouldn't even read past the first few pages.) My beginning is doubly tricky, too, because it has to inform the reader of several facts before Ivolet, the protagonist, loses her memory and gains a new name.

The result? A first-person present-tense jump straight into the action. I totally scratched two scenes at the beginning that introduced characters (that promptly died, or lost their memory, or weren't revisited for chapters) and just went straight to the blood and gore of assassination. It was lovely. :) And I think it will merge well with the story, because it can kind of be a...what's it called...a presentiment of the nightmares she'll allude to later in the book.

So, first scene solved.

Somehow, that isn't as comforting as it should be. Yay, the first of what the second draft clocked at seventy-freakin'-one scenes. (That was sarcasm.) This book is not an epic, was never intended to be an epic, and it really needs to shrink just a tad.

But, the outline is progressing, and I'm glad I have a beginning that I (finally!) like and love and that hooks me into reading. It's a start.

In other news, guess what book came in for me at the local library?!?!!? (Need a Hint?)

You'll never guess. A Conspiracy of Kings, by Megan Whalen Turner. I cannot describe my ecstasy in words, but I shall attempt it in exclamation points.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The librarian heard me gasp when she called me to tell me the hold was in (I requested the book, so I get an automatic hold. I love my library.) I could hear her smile. And then, I couldn't stop smiling at the librarian who checked it out for me (who has to be, by the way, a princess in disguise working at a library  ooooh! new book idea!). I got in the car and hugged it to my chest, and I almost took it into the grocery store with me. It's so beautiful.

There are few things in life that the newest book from [insert favorite author here] can't solve. Life is stressful, but Megan Whalen Turner always delivers. I can't wait to be surprised by the twist that I'll never see coming, and I can't wait to see Eugenides again. I CAN'T WAIT!!! It's sitting on my desk beside me as I type, it's beautiful, majestic cover of someone (Sophos? Eugenides? Someone New?) riding a horse. Riding a horse, urgently, looking behind him as if pursued. Is he fleeing? Bringing news? Who is he? Definitely noble, by his attire and his bold ring. (For the record, I want Megan Whalen Turner's cover designer to design my covers, too. Pretty please! Best covers ever.)

There's an almost empty glass of ice-cold lemonade on my desk, too. I had intended to drink it while I started A Conspiracy of Kings, but I had to blog about getting ready to read it first (of course!) and thus my lemonade is almost gone. Texas is hot. Anyway, I told Mom that I wondered how long it would take me before I read it. "Because," I said, "I love to know that I still haven't read it yet and that it's still waiting for me to read." She understood.

But it's tempting me, calling me, like a lover, like an escape, like a fantasy world. I'm going to read it twice, I've already decided. If there aren't any blogs for a while, it's because I got one of my many wishes and somehow woke up in Attolia.

iTunes DJ

"Letting Go," by Matt Moore
"Rsl 1984," by Newsboys
"Michelangelo," by Satellite Soul
"God and His Impostors," by The Silent
"No Fear," from The Swan Princess
"Evenstar," from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
"Light Up the World," by Desperation Band
"Rock of Ages," by David Crowder
"All I Do Is Think of You"

The Day of Good Intentions

Monday. The Day of Good Intentions.

I had an idea that if I could do writing work for 8 hours a day (or, better put, 40 hours a week), I would accomplish the goal. That would be full-time, that would be perseverance, and that would have to have a finished product to be proud of. How could it not?

It's a very good idea in theory. I'm certainly appreciating the scrutiny of my time. (I have a stopwatch and a piece of paper detailing my pursuits today. It's enlightening.) But what on earth are you supposed to do when you're staring at an outline of a book written twice over and wondering how you ever got from Point A to Point B?

I wrote this book once, consciously skipping a lot of backstory in the interest of getting to the end and completing the book. The second time I wrote it, I inserted the backstory, introduced the previously invisible characters, and generally put forth way too much information. Now I'm trying to outline the third draft and desperately seeking the balance between the two methods. I'm looking back at the first draft and wondering what it was that I didn't like (it's more innocent, more childish, more suited to the characters and the fantastical story), and then I'm looking at the second draft and wondering why I chose to be so...explanatory.

There's a balance in here, somewhere! (There has to be.)

I always thought I would take the best of the first and the best of the second, but, honestly, I changed the story a little bit between the two drafts. The best of the first doesn't match with the best of the second. So today is the day of reckoning in which I choose what really has to go, and what really must stay, and somehow mesh them all together to create a story that is as captivating and intriguing as what I first envisioned.

A good story should not be this hard. Or maybe it should be. Maybe that's the price you pay for a good story, and that's why there are so few.

I'm just so afraid I'm going to leave out something important, or leave in something ridiculous. And to go through all this with the thought that I simply must work on this for a professional, and not hobby-like, length of time if a writer is what I want to be -- it's torture. Every single plotline I ever wrote or imagined is spinning through my head and making a mess worse than a tangled knitting basket.

So I figured I would take a quick break and blog about it. Hopefully some of my creativity will return to me when I return to Microsoft Office Word 2007.

iTunes DJ

"Raising the Cross," from The Passion of the Christ
"Psalm 64B," by the Genevan Foundation for Cultural Renewal
"Declaration of Independence," from National Treasure
"The Living Stone," by David Williams
"Tradition," from Fiddler on the Roof
"Firefly," by Common Children

Other Materials

Yesterday marked the end of an era - the second draft era. Having written it, set it aside, read through it, and made a list of things that have got to go, the Second Draft Dynasty has concluded. The time begins for third - and final - draft. I had to decide that it would be the final draft, or else I would be writing drafts until doomsday. (And remain unpublished.) Being a perfectionist has its downfalls, so you have to set limits.

Today I begin the third draft. Armed with my list of things to change and some other materials (why so secretive? there's a blog post coming, but I'd like to have some results for you when I detail my plan), I set out. My quest: a tightly plotted, well-written, engaging story. Then will come the query process, and I'm actually getting somewhat excited about it. I read lots of blogs that talk about queries, and it is beginning to seem more like a game than a career. (I'm sure I'll be thinking that when I send them out, right? Ha! One comment I saw, the author was actually breaking out in rashes because of worry... Maybe I'm not looking forward to this after all.)

I've already begun writing the third draft, because I couldn't wait. But I haven't gotten very far, because I didn't want to write anything that would need to be changed. (I have a hard time making word-by-word edits look natural.)

In other news, I finally finished The Elements of Story, by Francis Flaherty. I highly recommend this book. It's written with journalists (and news articles) in mind, not novelists, but that only makes it better. Because the points are the same for both occupations, and if you can master these things within a thousand word limit, just think of what you could do with 80,000! I'll probably be reading it again, soon. And Flaherty's writings may be the source of some blog posts in the future!

So now I'm curious. Do you read any books on writing? What are your favorites? How helpful have they been, and how have you put what you've learned to use?

iTunes DJ

"I Thank You," by Rebecca St. James
"Honestly," by VOTA
"She's Got You," by Amaradio
"Take Up Your Cross [Live]," by Guardian
"Psalm 73 (My God's Enough)," by BarlowGirl ft. Todd Agnew
"Pass Me Not," by Fernando Ortega
"Lullaby," by Pivitplex

I Feel Very Productive

Today, I was Laura Ingalls Wilder. I did laundry before it was too hot, because sweating over an iron is not exactly my cup of tea. The windows were open, the attic fan was on, and there was a nice, cool breeze coming through my room. Other laundry has been done since then, and all the floors have been vacuumed/swept/mopped as their materials require. Eighteen of the twenty-one things to do on my list have been accomplished. I feel very productive.

I'm looking at an entire day, an entire day to write, I hope. To read, to plan, to write. That seems to be my mantra lately. To read, to plan, to write. Read Ivolet's second draft, plan how I'm going to write the third, and write the third.

An open day isn't exactly what I wanted. There is a writer's critique group that meets tonight (every other week), and I have just recently joined the Yahoo group. I like they way they do things: Two to three writers are chosen to present their work at the following meeting. They upload them to the Yahoo group, and the other members read and critique. They type up their critique and bring it with them to the meeting, at which time the work is discussed and critique is given. It seems a very feasible plan, one that looks like it would work. I'm impressed with their usage of technology, because it's rather brilliant.

It's too far. Their meeting place is over an hour from my house, but of all the writing groups within driving distance (and there aren't many), it's the one I would most like to go to, the one that focuses most on writing and critique and not hearing other author's speak on the topics of their books. It's also predominantly fiction, as far as I can tell. But it's too far, and I don't think I'm going.

Now to write an email to explain why I joined their Yahoo group and why I have to leave.

The thought did just occur to me to start a similar group where I live, but I don't really know what I'm doing. If I did, I wouldn't be interested in attending this group in the first place. I really wanted to be around people who knew what they were doing.

Oh. Well. I'll still press on.

In other news, I'm working on a plan for writing the third draft. I'm promising that this is going to be the last draft. Any editing after it is going to be small, line-by-line kinds of things. If I had my Emerald way, I'd be writing drafts until kingdom come because they're not...perfect. I'm very big on perfection. But in my lovely Emerald way, I've analyzed my writing process.

My first draft is a race to put everything on paper as fast as I can before I forget it. It's a rapid rush to put all the scenes together and discover how people get from Point A to Point B. It tends to be shorter than my desired word count. There is very little detail or setting.

My second draft is the complete opposite. It elaborates on everything and writes more backstory for all the characters. Those who were minor in the first draft become main characters in the second. It's huge, and way too long. There's more detail and more setting (although this is still lacking - I have setting issues). Where the first draft just told how they got from Point A to Point B, the second draft makes that into an entire chapter. So it's way too long.

What the third draft will turn out to be remains to be seen, but I am hoping it will be a satisfactory medium between these two. It will give vivid description and linger on the emotion, unlike the first draft. It will be succint and clear, unlike the second draft. And, most importantly, it will be somewhere between 90,000 and 110,000 words. (It will also have real chapters and not the double-spaced scenes that the first and second drafts have.)

I'm still reading through the second draft and making notes on what I like and don't like. Quick notes, like "Please take out Quin," and "Cannot open with Martin and Quin. It feels like they're main characters." There's a reason people publish the books and not the notes.

So there is your pity party and your update on the Ivolet story.

I've been watching a myriad of other writing blogs, seeing how they do it. Most interact more with their audience than I do. I'm just about 'me-me-me,' which is kind of pathetic, really. But I don't have much of an audience, so it would be kind of...awkward. But I am aware that this blog is trying to be everything; it's trying to be about me, about my books and the writing thereof, informative about the writing industry, and a good source of links. The way most blogs have remedied this is to have certain topics on certain days. I like this idea, but I think it's going to take more of an audience/readers for me to pursue that.

What do you think?

Rewriting Revelation

I had a revelation today.

Rewriting is difficult, and there is no right way to do it.

This day began with so many good intentions. I had plans to get through one-third of the Ivolet manuscript, editing, critiquing, noting what I liked, and noting what I didn't like. That was what I did when I transitioned from the first draft to the second draft.

It sounds good in theory, but then I realized that if I did the same thing after my second draft that I did after the first draft, I'd be exactly where I am now. I have a feeling that I could, forever, go through that routine. Deleting characters, bringing characters to the forefront, getting rid of subplots, adding subplots. It doesn't end, at least in my foresight. It just goes on and on and on, no end in sight.

This is not a good place to be. It calls for drastic action. (We are all familiar with the definition of insanity, right?) It calls for change. It calls for a new way of looking at things. I've never been keen for new ways of looking at things; but I am more keen on getting this thing published. I've worked way too hard on it to just quit. Too much invested to give up now.

So instead of spending time rewriting/editing, I spent time researching. And researching. And researching. I wish I could post every site that I looked at, but I jumped around so often that it would be of very little help. I thought I had touched every writing website on the web, but it seems that was far from the truth. It probably still is, but I would be surprised. (At the end of this post, I'll see what I can do about posting a list of what I found today. Probably very little description, though.)

What I discovered wasn't necessarily what I wanted to find. It seems that it is extraordinarily different for everyone. Some people write one draft, some people write eight. I am so sick of finding forums of unpublished writers who are trying to discover how many drafts their NaNoWriMo novel should have now. Don't get me wrong - I'm a huge NaNoWriMo fan (never had the guts to pursue it, but still) - but I don't consider it legitimate, publishable writing. Has a bestseller ever been originally NaNoWriMo?

I can't say that I have a 'typical' rewriting tradition. After all, this is the first time I've begun a third draft. But here is the best thing that I found, something that I think will help me focus, a sales pitch for a course in How to Revise Your Novel, by Holly Lisle. It looks like it could be good, could be a waste of money, I have no idea. But what I do know is that the following quote helped me:

"Trauma Triage, where the objective is to FIND the big bad stuff before your patient croaks.
Major Surgery, where the objective is to FIX the big bad stuff before your patient croaks.
Cosmetic Surgery---all that fiddle-farting around you do to make your patient pretty once the big stuff is over."

I saw that and thought, "I can do that." Indeed, I have been doing it, haphazardly. I've had every step in my head, but I've been bouncing around them all in a horrible mess of things. This makes sense to me. I can do this.

So, if I triumphed today, it was because of this. If I had success today, it was because of this. Notice that I say "if." I'm still not sure if I did have success today. It's too soon to tell. Tomorrow will tell, and Tuesdays are notoriously poor days for me. It will have the ultimate Tuesday Telling Test.

I am learning that the time that I begin to use lovely little alliterations (or puns), that it is time to end. I did a lot more exploring today than just rewriting, but I like to keep posts topic-oriented and not too long, so I'll stop here. Below find the links that I found on rewriting. Some were more helpful than others, some not at all, but I don't have time to write exquisite descriptions. Happy exploring!

• Dear Editor (Questions and answers. This page is going on my 'links' page. Very interesting and unique, and shaping up to be a great source of info.)
• How Many Drafts? (A forum of NaNoWriMo authors discussing the subject.)
• How Many Drafts? (A blog post. Very witty, but didn't end up being much help.)
• Romancing the Process (A blog post by YA author Jeff Hirsch about the rewriting process. Opened my eyes to the intricacy and differences in the sport, but was encouraging nonetheless.)
• Permission to Plan (A witty blog post, but not much help.)
• Second Draft (An inspirational post, but not much help. However, it did encourage me to pursue a writing critique group. More on that later.)
• Shrunken Manuscript (A very new and interesting take at rewriting. I almost took this route, and it still appeals to me greatly. It's just that my book is so darn long...)
• Stephanie Meyer on Twilight (She did some editing and some drafts, but she wasn't much help on the how!)
• Tips to Writing a Great Second Draft of Your Novel (Very helpful, but nothing I hadn't seen before. If you're new to writing, you should definitely read it.)
• 4 Times to Stop Revising (Interesting, but not very helpful.
• 5 Ways to Know Your Novel is Finished (The same reasons to stop revising...)
• Final Draft (Article.) 

EDIT: I forgot to add one very important link. (I would have put it in the post, but there's not place where I won't interrupt the flow of the writing. So it gets an addendum here at the end, despite its amazing helpfulness.) It's the 11th Hour Checklist. It's a PDF, but you can check out the website, too. The checklist is going to help me for a long time.