More Painful Than Rejection Letters

More than once, I've talked about how much I enjoy critique. It makes the book so much better, I've said. It opens my eyes to things I didn't notice. It reminds me that the things I ignored really do need to be dealt with. All those things are true, and critique is still one of my favorite things about writing, because I love the moments when I see the book come together after a good round of that-didn't-make-sense from critique partners.

But it's also a ridiculous amount of emotional, more painful than rejection letters, honestly. I spend a good amount of my time engaging in mental arguments with the comments at hand, which is a complete waste of time...a fact that eventually burrows its way to my brain and reminds me that 1) the book isn't going to edit itself, and 2) I don't know everything.

And in those moments, I cling to these two beautiful pieces of advice that I've gleaned from writers as I've pursued the writing adventure.

1. If the reader doesn't understand something, it's likely the writer's fault.
2. Never argue with critique. If it's wrong, don't make changes. If it's right, which is statistically more likely, make changes.

Does it take the emotional drain away from the act of wading through critical comments? No. Does it stop me from imagining debates over the clarity of a plotline? No.

Does it keep me from writing long-winded explanations of what-the-reader-should-have-noticed? Yes.

Critique is hard, but absolutely vital if you want to do something well. Over and over and over again, I've discovered that truth. But it requires humility, over and over and over again humility. The constant reminder that I really don't know everything. It's downright hard.

But it's downright good.

What about you? How do you cope with critique...of anything, not just your writing?

{Those Who Trespass will be available exclusively for Kindle {and all Kindle apps} on August 27, 2013.}

I Use Them All Interchangeably

I should finish the whole reading-out-loud process today. Then I get to do what I call line-editing but what probably isn't line-editing to any one else.

I'm going to figure out some words. What are the differences between toward and towards, backward and backwards, anymore and any more, beside and besides, and farther and further? I don't know. I use all these words interchangeably. All the time. And that can't be right, can it?

I figure there's no time like the present querying stage to pin them down. It will take me back to my middle-school grammar days, but that's okay. We're going to get this.

So if anyone knows the difference between in, into, and in to, feel free to shoot me an email, because that is one that scares me. :)

This Is Best

I finished my novel last night.

For real.

Like, for real-for real.

It hasn't sunk in yet. I was just going along, happily double-underlining things off my To Edit list {because double underlines are just so much cooler than single underlines}...and then my entire list was double-underlined all the way through.

It is a rather helpless feeling, really, to come to the end of one's list. Because you are left with a great void in your life. What do I do now? My fingers are...still. My thoughts are...still. There is nothing left. I am finished.

Finshed. It's a huge word. And never have I used it alongside a novel I'm so very happy with. Stratagem I finished, but it wasn't exactly my magnum opus. It was the best it could be, the best I could make it. I was more than satisfied with it, but I don't think I'd ever say it made me particularly happy. My glasses are half-empty, and flaws tend to be highlighted in my eyes.

With Those Who Trespass {the new one}, the flaws are so few. Not extinct. Are they ever? But they are so few, few to the point of perfection. Yes, whatever I write next will be better. It always is. But this - this is best. And this makes me happy. I read it, and I'm proud of it.

It's a strange feeling. The first time I've felt proud of something I wrote, not because I wrote it, or because I finished it, or because I edited it - but because I like it. For me, my liking my own story is enough to make me proud. And right now, that's best.

It's a Good Time To Be a Writer

My to-edit list is getting shorter.

It's been getting shorter for quite some time, but yesterday I realized that IT'S FINALLY ON ONE PAGE. One page, people! I mean, last week it was on TWELVE PAGES. And now I'm down to ONE! :)

It is my hope to finish - like, really finish - like finishfinishfinish - THIS WEEK! This week, people!

The November plan? Querying! {I actually know who I want to query first, exclusively. Call me crazy, but I finally feel confident about my choice.} and *drumroll please* NANOWRIMO!!!!!!! To write without worries!!! I'm STOKED! :)

These have been some encouraging months, what with Tahereh Mafi getting a book deal, Natalie Whipple getting a book deal, Shannon Messenger getting a book deal, and, most recently, writing-medical-advice-giver extraordinaire, Lydia Kang, getting a book deal! I'm so excited for these people! Tahereh's book is coming out in only a couple of weeks, too {which I can't wait to read}!

Anyway, it's a good time to be a writer. I'm stoked for my friends, I'm excited for my MS and its destiny, and I'm thrilled about letting my hair down with NANOWRIMO! :)

What about you? What about writing is making you happy??

Giggles & Good News

I got the giggles yesterday. After my is-there-a-finish-line post, I'm surprised. But a couple things happened:

• I got some {lightening fast} notes back from the beta, and they confirmed what I was thinking - this time, for good. That is to say that scenes/chapters I had great hopes about...seem to be as good as I thought they were. Which is a nice change from thinking I'm going back to Square 1...
• Apparently, Square 1 is a long way behind me. :) :) :) I rounded some mountain today, still not sure where, or how, or when, but it feels like I've been pedaling upandupandupandup, forcing my feet down on the pedals, wondering if I'll ever make it to the top, and suddenly, without warning, I'm speeding downhill.
• Sure, there's still stuff to work on. But the worst of my epic scene extensions/rewrites seems to be completed-ish.

Anyway, I smiled so much yesterday - about writing. Isn't that odd? To smile about writing? Usually I'm tearing my hear out, or face-palming, or pounding my forehead against the desk. Yesterday I was smiling - and giggling, laughing out loud, for reals. It was a good day.

It was also a good day because Shannon Whitney Messenger had epically awesome news! I am so crazy excited for her!!!! :) Her blog is a constant source of both entertainment and encouragement, and it's about time the whole world knew how awesome she is. :)

Anyway, it was a good news day. A giggle day.

What about you? Any Good News/Giggle Days recently?

Kind Of Finished

Hmmm...new Blogger interface. Interesting. The jury is out.

Well, I'm venturing back. I think it's safe. I think my editing zombie skin has been shedded {okay, that was kind of a gross analogy, but whatev}.

Anyway, I'm back. And I'm finished. Kind of. Sort of. I mean, yes, I am finished, but I'm not really...

...oh, whatever, yes, I'll give it the celebration it deserves: I'M FINISHED!!!!!!!

*half-heartedly throws confetti*

I'll be more full-hearted when it's done. I didn't know there was a difference between done and finished. There is. Because I still have some polishing stuff I want to do (a whole page-full, to be applied to each chapter upon - yet another - reading). And a scene that...just...won't...fit...right, no matter how I tip my head when I read it. Sigh.

{It's just a bit frustrating, because I feel like I've edited it within an inch of my life...but apparently not an inch of its life.}

I'm sorry. I should be celebrating. I should be screaming with delight. I'm FINISHED, and within a YEAR of starting the thing, too. Now that's progress. And even though my needed polishes are leering at me, I'm not really scared. I've already accomplished much more difficult tasks on this MS.

So, I'm done. More work to do, but the worst of it is over. For now, haha. :)

...I promise to be more coherent and fluid next time. Which should technically be tomorrow, eh? Ah, back to daily blog posts...

How about you? Finish anything {outline, first draft, revision notes}? Excited? Or are you just looking ahead to all the work still to do...?

The Editing Zombie

Yes, I'm still alive. If one can be editing and alive at the same time. Which is very much up for debate. I've been nothing but an Editing Zombie over the past week. And no one wants an Editing Zombie writing blog posts.

No, seriously. Blog posts written by Editing Zombies are just...whacked. :) So to spare you my current whacked-ness, I'm declaring a hiatus. It shall be quick {a week? two?}, because the Editing Zombie will be leaving as soon as these last couple of chapters are rewritten...and then Melody Authoress will return to the blog. Melody Authoress is a much more coherent and interesting person than the Editing Zombie.

Until her return,
~ The Editing Zombie

An Editing Superwoman

1. The first round of edits, really more of a rewrite, was to tie a string of scenes into a story. The voice was brilliant.
2. The second round of edits was to maintain continuity of plot and character from A to B to C...and from A to C, which is harder. The voice got more fleshed out.
3. The third round of edits is to add depth to plot and characters and maintain plausibility. The voice took a backseat to plot.
4. The fourth round of edits will be to spread out the romance, like butter over bread, so that no bite of story has globs of butter...or just dry toast. Hopefully, the voice will come back, because there's nothing like voice to narrate a romance.
5. The fifth round of edits will be to bring back the voice.

And that is the story of voice. It is also the story of me, trudging my way through edits. Like chocolate syrup. But we went over that yesterday.

I wish I could do all those edits in one giant edit. But, alas, despite my epic multi-tasking skills {I currently have six tabs open in Firefox, plus email}, this is the level of an Editing Superwoman. Someday I'll be there.

What about you? Do your stories undergo multiple edits? Or do you just hash it out all at once?

Final-ish Decisions

If you've been the blogosphere for, I don't know, a couple of days, you realize that there are a million and one viewpoints on editing. Some people hate it, some people love it. Some people edit as they go and finish with an awesome book. Some people write a draft in a day and spend months on the editing.

I do them all. Every time I sit down to write, I review what I wrote the day before. I tweak some sentences. But I don't do anything major.

It's after the draft(s) is(are) accomplished that I actually edit majorly. I read through and make notes {thanks OpenOffice, though I hear Word does that, too}. Notes like, "Where did that character come from? You're just now mentioning her dad? Really? For the last time, figure out if it was a gun or a knife, because this is ruining every flashback.}

And the thing is, when you're drafting, you can do that. You can switch from gun to knife to rope to wrench. But when you're editing, you can't. You have to make decisions. You have to start at the beginning and figure out if it was a candlestick or a poisoned apple. And if it was a poisoned apple, you have to introduce the witch.

So, for me, and maybe for no one else, editing {after the draft(s)} is almost-but-not-quite rewriting. It's not rewriting, because the plot is in place, and the words are in place, and the grammatical structure is more or less set in stone. But you have to put your foot down and say, "Death by lightsaber!"

And then work from there.


Editing = important {and final-ish} decisions.

How do you edit once you've written the draft(s)? Do you still have plot decisions to make??

My E/R/I/Whatever Process

My E/R/I/Whatever Process

Written While In the Midst of Editing/Revising/Implementing-Beta's-Comments/Whatever-That's-All-Called

Once I buckled down and did it, editing/revising/implementing-beta's-comments/whatever-that's-all-called came easily.

1. I compiled all my beta's notes into one document. (If you haven't had someone writerly read your book and comment on it, make that your first step. It's invaluable.)
2. Since I was totally revamping my first chapter, I opened an entirely new document and began to write. (That stupid new first chapter took me a freakin' month or more to get 'right'.)
3. Once I was satisfied with the first chapter (did I mention how long it took?), I started pulling pieces of my last draft into the new document. Sometimes they were just sentences, but as I took off from the proverbial runway, they became longer and longer.
4. I kept an eye on all my notes from my lovely beta, making changes when needed.
5. Made sure everything matched up.

That's the crazy part: the permanence of it. The first chapter is now the foundation. Characters, settings, world-building - at this point, they're stuck. There's not going to be another go-round to make changes. This is that go-round.

Scary, yes, but also invigorating. I'm this close! This is how I did am doing it. It's working so far. :) Eeeee, I can't believe I'm almost to the milestone (a la Justine Dell) of I'mdonewiththemanuscriptforever!

What about you? What big finish/milestone are you getting close to?

Look Back

Thanks everyone for your encouragement and commiseration during my editing woes last week (here and here). I'm not sure if I would still be writing with such purpose without such a supportive group of writerly friends, so, seriously - thank you.

I haven't edited the past couple of days, but I have written...and read what I've written. And I was a bit surprised at what I found...it wasn't bad. Yeah, there's some problems with these past stories of mine, plot problems. But these snippets aren't bad. In fact, when I finished reading the few pages I'd written, I found myself wishing the author would have finished writing the book!

It's an odd feeling to like what you're reading and then remember that you wrote what you're reading. A good feeling.

And then a sinking feeling as you consider the work involved in finishing it. When you consider that you can't work on it until you finish what you're working on. (I may or may not have broken that rule this weekend...*cough*)

There's a lot of things that can encourage us. One of them - one of the biggest - is friends. Another is motivational books and teachers, like Gale has discovered; they give you more skills to keep persevering. And one of them is to look back at what you have done.

Because you're a good writer. Go back and look at something, not necessarily the something you're trying to publish, but the something you had fun writing. Go read it. Feel your heart beat a little like it does when you read your own favorite books by other authors.

Chin up, fellow writerly peoples. You can write. You're good at it. You love it.
Don't give up.

Maybe It Was Just Time

Maybe I just got tired of people asking me how my book was doing. "Did you finish it?" they'd ask me. And I had to nod and shake my head at the same time - a difficult feat. "Yes, I've finished it," I'd tell them, "but now I have to edit it." All with my heart sinking, feeling like I'm telling a lie because, really, I haven't even started editing.

Maybe it was an argument with a friend where my own inability to finish things was rather thrown in my face. A low blow, but an accurate and fair one, nonetheless. (And yes, we've made up.) (And no, it's not you, SH.)

Or maybe it was just time.

However you look at it, on Saturday I had 6 pages of editing completed. (Had had 6 pages of editing completed for about a month.) Now I have 28. It's all been coming like mad: reading/comparing/copying/pasting/reading beta's notes/changing/editing/polishing. It's an odd feeling to actually feel like what I'm writing is permanent. That there won't be another go-round where I change it. Fix this, change this name, solidify this plot point. It's the last time.

It feels good. Real good. :)

Never thought I'd say that about editing. What about you? What have you enjoyed recently that you never thought you'd like?

To/From Myself

A Letter to Myself...from Myself

Don't give up. Your book does not suck.
It does! You don't understand! I totally had that character come back from the dead!
It's okay. You can fix it. Don't give up.
But it's taking so loooooooong...*sob*
But you're so close to finishing it. Look - *this* close!
But I caaaaaan't! *starts sobbing*
*pats on back* It's okay! You've only got a little bit more to go. You're on the home stretch!
*looks up* The home stretch?
The home stretch. I promise. You're almost done, and then you get to write a query! What do you think about that?
A query? *pause* *bursts into tears again* I'll never be able to write a good query! I can't even write a book which means I can't write a query 'cause a query's shorter!
You'll ace the query.
What if no one likes my book?
Do you like your book?
*sniffle* Yeah.
Okay then. That's what matters. Did you do your best?
Yeah.
That's all anyone can ask for. Don't give up. Okay, dear? Don't give up.
*deep breath* Don't give up.

That's What Keeps Me Going

It's Monday afternoon, and I'm supposed to be editing.

It's not that I don't want to edit, per se. It's that every time I read it, the letters seem to rearrange themselves into, "This sucks. You really think a good editing job is what this needs? It needs to be trashed! Who are you to do a good editing job, anyway? You wrote this the first time - what makes you think the fourth time is going to be any better?"

The reality my 'Writing Goals 2011' is starting to set in. I meant to edit in January, polish/write the query in February, and query in March. But now I'm realizing that that means editing a novel in a month. Rather, twenty days. And a little part of me is dying inside. (Especially considering the speech I promised to give this Saturday - one I've given before, but a long time ago. Ugh. And my constantly seducing sekrit project.)

So, what, if anything, is keeping me from crumpling up all these digital papers and throwing them in the recycle bin? You really want to know? My off-the-wall-amazing beta reader. Her advice and critique have been invaluable, have made the book better in leaps and bounds. I thought, perhaps, that was the extent of her awesomeness. It wasn't. :) I realize now that the constant asides to the good things about my book, the complements, the appreciation for this sentence or that character - those are what are keeping me going. The fact that she's spent so much time helping me make my story better - that's what's keeping me going.

So, thank you, awesome beta. :) :) :)

And here I go back to editing.............

Ode to Little Darlin'

 *For those not reading writing blogs all day, a "darling" is that scene (also sentence/paragraph/chapter/character/plot point) that you love and think is your best ever...but that needs to go for the betterment of the story.

Ode to Little Darlin'

Little Darling',

You've gotta know I love you
And I know you love me, too
How the world would be a pretty place
If it were just us two
But things have come between us
Though my attraction has not dimmed


You still bring...

A smile to my face
A light to my eyes
And a spark to my life
But it's time


It's time to say goodbye
To wish each other well
Have fun out there, little darlin'
Be strong out there, little darlin'
You know I love you
You know I'll miss you

It's not your fault
And I don't blame you
It's just because
You happened to be written
In the wrong, wrong, wrong
Point of view

What Happens When You Finish Your Book

Day 0 – I. AM. FINISHED.
Day 1 – Do nothing. Oh my gosh, this is awesome. I'm done!
Day 2 – Do nothing. Finished, can you believe it? Ask for beta reader on blog.
Day 3 – Maybe I should edit. No, I've got to give it a few days. Besides...*yawn*...this is awesome.
Day 4 – I really should start editing. At least go through and find those adverbs.
Day 5 – I'm bored. Edit a little.
Day 6 – I feel unproductive and thus unhappy. Edit a little.
Day 7 – Receive draft from beta friend. I probably should send mine...but have you seen all those adverbs?
Day 8 – Get a Shiny New Idea. Edit adverbs.
Day 9 – Start writing SNI: 2000+ words. Edit adverbs.
Day 10 – Write SNI: 1000+ words. Edit a little.
Day 11 – Write SNI: 400+ words. Hmmm, I think I'm probably nearing the end of my interest in this one. Edit a little.
Day 12 – Write SNI: 3000+ words. Okay, nevermind. Edit a little.
Day 13 – Done editing. (I feel useless.) Send first 3 chapters of story to be beta-read.
Day 14 – Write SNI: 3000+ words. WHAT?
Day 15 – Write SNI.
Day 16 – Read much-anticipated book. Hate ending. Be depressed.
Day 17 – Sign up for NaNoWriMo. Receive
Day 18 – Receive critique from beta partner. After some delay, reads critique. Oh dear, I was right about all “those parts”. :/ Write SNI.
Day 19 – Realize that NaNoWriMo would mean deserting the SNI. And I should really be editing.
Day 20 – Mull over the NaNoWriMo quandary.
Day 21 – More mulling.
Day 22 – More mulling. New story vs. SNI vs. editing. And that query letter. What about that query letter?
Day 23 – Make decision on NaNoWriMo and feel successful.
Day 24 – Read The Maze Runner - won from The League of Extraordinary Writers - when I should be outlining/writing/editing/query-writing.
Day 25 - Meh, I'm a panster this time around. I'll wait to write until tomorrow. Editing? Also tomorrow. And that query...hmmmm, yes, that query...
Day 26 - On your marks, get set, GO!

The Great Adverb Deletion

I'm currently deeply entrenched in horribly unending edits.
They hate me ardently.
I hate them back. Ardently.
But I am passionately pursuing my lively goal. I'm the little blue engine, I just keep chugging, just keep chugging, just keep chugging, chugging, chugging...

But here is something I've learned: They were right about the adverbs.
I never thought I'd say that. I read all those posts and inside-joke asides to the Great Adverb Dilemma and poo-pooed it. Ha, I thought. They haven't read my adverbs. My adverbs are important. They contribute to the story.

Besides, I'm sparing with my adverbs. There's not that many.

Ha!

And I say again, Ha! Lies, all of them. I put in a search for 'ly' and am still working my way through that one aspect of the manuscript. Not plot, not voice, not something usually dubbed important. No, I'm on page 150 of 171 (this is horrible considering how many days I've been working on this), using the Find function to find words that end in 'ly'.

Yep. That's how I feel looking at the unending list of 'ly' words.

It wouldn't be so bad if I thought I needed them, if they were important. But they're not. See below, all real-life examples taken from my MS:

 ------------------
He swore softly under his breath.
He swore under his breath.

Ivolet drew in her breath sharply.
Ivolet drew in her breath.

She broke off suddenly as they entered the clearing.
She broke off as they entered the clearing.

His voice was very thickly accented. Who wrote this sentence, for crying out loud!?
His voice was thickly accented.

She had no doubt she'd be hopelessly lost within seconds.
She had no doubt she'd be lost within seconds.

...which could only mean that...
...which meant that...

She wasn't entirely sure she trusted herself.
She wasn't sure she trusted herself.

Daniel fidgeted awkwardly.
Daniel fidgeted. Really, can someone fidget not awkwardly?
 -----------
Yeah, isn't this fun? Sure, there's a few 'ly' words that do need to stay, but not many. Not many at all.

Thankfully, I've got beta reading, a Shiny New Idea, and The Hunger Games/Catching Fire/Mockingjay to give me ample procrastination excuses. :)

We're being honest here. Tell me your editing woes. Speak out in your hatred of adverbs. Or your love of adverbs. Whatever you want to tell me, tell me, especially if it involves making it through edits with a SANE MIND.

Found While Editing #1

“I'm serious, Vila!” Martin met her eyes seriously.

You're. Kidding. Me.

Plans...and a Request

I'm finished.

I've never finished a third draft before, much less one that I intended to query from the start. It's completely new territory for me.

But I do have some semblance of a plan.

1. I'm going to edit. Actually, I've already begun searching for adverbs (something I've never done before to any of my other MSs) and am discovering many things about them, as I will no doubt tell later in the week.
2. I'm going to write the query, obviously. Deep in adverb editing, I'm kind of in denial about the need for a query. :/ But don't worry, I won't hurry this most important document.
3. I'm going to participate in the event I've always watched with admiring eyes: NaNoWriMo. I'm ready to 'write for fun' again, now that this Ivolet story is complete when it comes to story-crafting, and NaNoWriMo could not have come at a more perfect time. (It's kind of ridiculous how excited I am about this.)

I do have a request. I feel a bit presumptuous to ask this, but Shelly Sly has inspired me (she needs a Middle Grade-familiar beta reader, so if that's you, you should totally go help her out!), and I'm going to do it. I need a beta reader. I have an 80,000-word Young Adult adventure romance that needs another set of eyes from someone familiar with that market. I'm more than happy to reciprocate by beta-ing something of yours!