Only You Can Know

I've had a few responses to my requests. And they all go something like this:

One agent doesn't fall in love with Jenn's voice.

The next one tells me that Jenn is such an engaging character.

Then she goes on to tell me that the murder should be less of a murder and more of an accident, or a self-defense killing.

Yet a previous agent made it quite clear that she liked the gray-ness of the murder and appreciated that it wasn't an accident or in self-defense.

 I have come to the conclusion that you cannot depend on another person to tell you what your book is. They can tell you if it's marketable, and they can tell you if it's plausible. They can tell you how a scene made them feel.

But only you know how you wanted the scene to make them feel. Only you know what the book was meant to be. Critique partners and beta readers and agents can tell you stars* of valuable, valuable, valuable things about your book. I cannot emphasize that enough. Without them, you're pretty much...sunk.

Some of them, those that know your heart, can help you find out what your book is.

But only you can know it. Your book is your creation. It's between you and God, because no one else knows your heart like God does. And it's up to you to stay to true to your book. It's up to you to make the decisions that will make or break...everything.

* Stars: Synonymous with 'tons' or 'oodles'. References the fact the stars are innumerable.

The Story of Us

In the interest of statistics, I compiled the story of Those Who Trespass. Begun in October of 2010, it's definitely been a journey. And here is the story of us--my book and me.

• Those Who Trespass existed in 11 drafts:
1. I stopped writing Draft A after getting 3/4 of the way through the story and getting hopelessly stuck. {This happened in Stratagem, too. It must stem from the fact that I don't know where I'm going until I get there, and when I get there, I have to re-write how I got there.}
2. This was the first completed draft, and it had a completely different plotline {and villain} than the first. The ending is the same as in the final draft, and you can see that the story finally had a beginning, middle, and end.
3. With a new beginning and a new ending and a lot of new things in between, Draft C could be said to be the new and improved second draft...amplified version. I considered this to be my finished first draft {not to be confused with the first draft of the first draft; I know, it's confusing}, and it was the one I sent to Aimee Salter when I won her critique contest. {If you have not benefited from one of Aimee's critiques, you need to. Hers saved this book.}
4. So much new stuff in Draft D! Using Aimee's critique, I rewrote a good portion of the book, pulling a character, revamping the first chapter {with delicious results}, reinstated the original ending, and finally inserted some chapter breaks. Oh, and I also used the f-word. I sent this second draft to Shelley-the-awesome-beta-reader. {If you do not have a beta reader, you need one. There are no exceptions.}
5. Not much to say about Draft E. I think this was the fixing-beta's-minor-comments draft.
6. And Draft F was the fixing-beta's-major-comments draft, and I think it's safe to say that this was the beginning of the third draft. This was where I put Clayton's ever-present gun into play. This was also where I pulled a darling of mine because it was a) overtly Christian, b) bordered on the paranormal, and, most importantly, c) was very much telling and not showing. (My longest draft.)
• I don't mind overtly Christian. But Those Who Trespass is subtle, and God is weaved through, not in-your-face.
7. The villain got more screen-time. And after much internal debate about whether or not Those Who Trespass was going to include God, I began the process of weaving God into the story. Also, Clayton got some much-needed depth and backstory. The first line of Draft G went on to be the first line of the final draft.
8. Small changes only in Draft H. I changed Clayton's name to Taylor and Jake's name to Josh.
9. More small changes. Changed Taylor's name back to Clayton and Josh's back to Jake. Pulled the f-word out for good. I also started working in double-spaces.
10. Worked one scene to what I hope is now perfection, making Jenn less angsty and more proactive, though not necessarily in a good way.
11. The final draft, the one used in queries and full requests. Now in PDF form with formatted chapters! :)

And that is the story of Those Who Trespass.

Blame the Writer

First confession: I write FanFiction. It's been an off-and-on thing for several years. {It's kinda started writing.} And right now it's on.

Second confession: FanFic reviews, however anonymous and fangirlish and utterly unhelpful, make my day. While in the throes of querying and trying to write some semblance of a plot, getting a good review on a fanfic is like water. In a drought. After a run. Through a fire.

Anyway, I got my first not-so-awesome review the other day. It wasn't bad. They didn't diss the writing, or the characters, or the plot. But they assumed something that I had not written.

My first thought? Write back and tell them that that's not how it was!

This isn't the first time this has happened. When Shelley-the-Awesome-Beta was reading a now-old draft of TWT, she noted a couple of things about the story. She had no idea that that wasn't how it was! And while she discovered how things were later in the MS, my first response then was the first response to the fanfic a couple days ago:

I never wrote Shelley {about that, anyway}, and I won't reply to the fanfic review with anything more than a quick thank-you.

Here's the thing: If something doesn't make sense to the reader, it's probably not their fault. Blame the writer.

I know. It hurts. But that's what happens when you write. It's your job as a writer to make sense. And if someone--the awesome beta reader, the fanfic reviewer, a blog reviewer, an Amazon reviewer, Kirkus--thinks you're confusing, you are. It's a customer is always right kinda thing. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

So don't respond and tell them how they just didn't get it. If you couldn't tell them in the book, what makes you think you can tell them in an email? No, the only way to fix this is to go back to your manuscript and make it make sense. {And if you're book is already published, make your next one make sense.}

Three Lines

After weeks and weeks of agonizing writing, of inserting words and taking them out again, of ending hours of work with only a handful of words to show for them - if that - there's been some breakthrough.

Query-wise, an arrangement finally came that made a semblance of sense. I came to the minute where I realized there was nothing more I could do without another pair of eyes, at which point I sent it off to Beta Reader Shelley, who had the quickest turnaround time ever and sent it back that night. Her notes were spot-on.

I'd pretty much rewritten the query {except for a few good lines that needed to stay}, and I was hoping I wouldn't have to do a rewrite again. I thought I may have to, though. Then I wasn't sure. The time comes when query-writing where you have no idea if your work has any merit or value or sanity or coherence at all. {This is when you send things to awesome beta readers like Shelley.}

I didn't have to rewrite. Basically, I have only three lines in the query that need work. Compared to the previous demolition of the first query, this was definite improvement.

THREE LINES. Three lines until I'm finished with the thing. And I will finish. Want to know why?

I've promised myself that there shall be no more White Collar watching until I finish this query. This, I promise, will work. Especially since my White Collar day is tomorrow. Oh yes, query-writing is definitely happening today.

What have you used to motivate you to finish those drag-your-heels projects?

Giggles & Good News

I got the giggles yesterday. After my is-there-a-finish-line post, I'm surprised. But a couple things happened:

• I got some {lightening fast} notes back from the beta, and they confirmed what I was thinking - this time, for good. That is to say that scenes/chapters I had great hopes about...seem to be as good as I thought they were. Which is a nice change from thinking I'm going back to Square 1...
• Apparently, Square 1 is a long way behind me. :) :) :) I rounded some mountain today, still not sure where, or how, or when, but it feels like I've been pedaling upandupandupandup, forcing my feet down on the pedals, wondering if I'll ever make it to the top, and suddenly, without warning, I'm speeding downhill.
• Sure, there's still stuff to work on. But the worst of my epic scene extensions/rewrites seems to be completed-ish.

Anyway, I smiled so much yesterday - about writing. Isn't that odd? To smile about writing? Usually I'm tearing my hear out, or face-palming, or pounding my forehead against the desk. Yesterday I was smiling - and giggling, laughing out loud, for reals. It was a good day.

It was also a good day because Shannon Whitney Messenger had epically awesome news! I am so crazy excited for her!!!! :) Her blog is a constant source of both entertainment and encouragement, and it's about time the whole world knew how awesome she is. :)

Anyway, it was a good news day. A giggle day.

What about you? Any Good News/Giggle Days recently?

My E/R/I/Whatever Process

My E/R/I/Whatever Process

Written While In the Midst of Editing/Revising/Implementing-Beta's-Comments/Whatever-That's-All-Called

Once I buckled down and did it, editing/revising/implementing-beta's-comments/whatever-that's-all-called came easily.

1. I compiled all my beta's notes into one document. (If you haven't had someone writerly read your book and comment on it, make that your first step. It's invaluable.)
2. Since I was totally revamping my first chapter, I opened an entirely new document and began to write. (That stupid new first chapter took me a freakin' month or more to get 'right'.)
3. Once I was satisfied with the first chapter (did I mention how long it took?), I started pulling pieces of my last draft into the new document. Sometimes they were just sentences, but as I took off from the proverbial runway, they became longer and longer.
4. I kept an eye on all my notes from my lovely beta, making changes when needed.
5. Made sure everything matched up.

That's the crazy part: the permanence of it. The first chapter is now the foundation. Characters, settings, world-building - at this point, they're stuck. There's not going to be another go-round to make changes. This is that go-round.

Scary, yes, but also invigorating. I'm this close! This is how I did am doing it. It's working so far. :) Eeeee, I can't believe I'm almost to the milestone (a la Justine Dell) of I'mdonewiththemanuscriptforever!

What about you? What big finish/milestone are you getting close to?

That's What Keeps Me Going

It's Monday afternoon, and I'm supposed to be editing.

It's not that I don't want to edit, per se. It's that every time I read it, the letters seem to rearrange themselves into, "This sucks. You really think a good editing job is what this needs? It needs to be trashed! Who are you to do a good editing job, anyway? You wrote this the first time - what makes you think the fourth time is going to be any better?"

The reality my 'Writing Goals 2011' is starting to set in. I meant to edit in January, polish/write the query in February, and query in March. But now I'm realizing that that means editing a novel in a month. Rather, twenty days. And a little part of me is dying inside. (Especially considering the speech I promised to give this Saturday - one I've given before, but a long time ago. Ugh. And my constantly seducing sekrit project.)

So, what, if anything, is keeping me from crumpling up all these digital papers and throwing them in the recycle bin? You really want to know? My off-the-wall-amazing beta reader. Her advice and critique have been invaluable, have made the book better in leaps and bounds. I thought, perhaps, that was the extent of her awesomeness. It wasn't. :) I realize now that the constant asides to the good things about my book, the complements, the appreciation for this sentence or that character - those are what are keeping me going. The fact that she's spent so much time helping me make my story better - that's what's keeping me going.

So, thank you, awesome beta. :) :) :)

And here I go back to editing.............

I Heart Criticism, and Yes, I'm Sane

Never, in a million years, did I think I would enjoy criticism this much. Throughout my life, I have avoided criticism like the plague. Two strategies: 1) Don't do things you suck at, and 2) If you do, or you think you do, don't ever let anyone see. Those strategies worked for a long time...and then came everyone's recommendations of *gasp* critique groups and *double gasp* beta readers.

(This isn't a description of my beta journey, though the mental processes involved are interesting - and, I think, helpful - enough to make a later blog post, so I'll spare you. Suffice it to say, I now have an amazing beta reader.)

We've been exchanging chapters back and forth. She's noted the good, the bad, and the ugly. I winced, took it with a smile, gritted my teeth, and rewrote.

The story's better. Seriously. I stopped yesterday and went, "Wow. She was right." It's better.

Saturday, I got an email with more critiques. And something weird happened. Instead of dreading opening the file, I wanted to know what she had to say. I wanted to see how the story was going to improve because of her comments. I wanted the criticism.

Dude. It's one of the best feelings in the world. (Especially when you're looking for criticism and she comes out of nowhere and mentions that she liked the kiss scene, which you were SO worried about because you've actually never kissed anyone, and aren't you supposed to write what you know, but you didn't ask her about it for fear she'd notice it, and then she goes and points out that she liked it! Ah! I was grinning and making very idiotic noises in my house, prompting the concern and eye-rolling of my parents. But it was worth it.)

So. Go out. Find a critique partner. Let them read your book. Let them say whatever they want about it, too. And if you're afraid, like I was, let me tell you that's it's so much more than worth it. You'll start to crave criticism, because you know what it can do. :) And that, my friends, is a lovely feeling.

Beta Reading in My World

Beta reading should be done to a peaceful place.

At least, if you're reading great literary works like, I don't know, such peaceful (read: boring) books like as Moby Dick. (I have a thing against Moby Dick, although I do give props for best first sentence ever.)

If you're reading middle-grade, then it makes perfect sense for your brother to be throwing pencils into the air so that they'll hit the fan and hopefully/hopefully-not (depending on whose side you're on) fall into your water.

Beta reading in my world. :)

The NaNoWriMo Quandary

By the way, Sara B. Larson officially has 200 followers! I don't know who Emy Shin (the 200th follower) is, but she kinda made me happy! :)

I'm in a quandary: NaNoWriMo is only a few days away.

It's not that I don't have a plot or a plan, though I don't. (I wasn't planning on having either for this month of rambunctious, rule-less writing fun!) It's not even that I don't have an idea, though I don't. (Though the bliss of "I-have-to-write-this-story-or-I-shall-die-as-all-the-words-are-packed-like-sardines-in-my-head" feeling has sadly deserted me.)

It's that I really should be revising. My new beta reader, Shelley, has given me some extremely helpful advice. (Note: extremely helpful = "Darn, you noticed that! I was hoping no one would" revelations as well as completely new stuff that I'm very glad she made me aware of.) I'm so veryveryvery thankful for her! She. Is. Awesome.

And I should really start putting her notes into practice. Also known as: revisions.

Fact #1: I'm not really excited about revisions. At all.
Fact #2: I was very excited about the idea of writing with no rules and no deadlines and no intention of publication (though that could happen, you never know).

Fact #1 + Fact #2 = Quandary. What to do with my November?

It's the old should do vs. want to do conundrum, except, in my case, I have an entire year of "should do" writing behind me. I'm ready for some "want to do," man!

Yeah, I could do both. I feasibly and conceivably could. (Probably will.)

(Then there's the whole "Which Story Do I Write?" quandary, which is the subject of a future post, I'm sure.)

But right now, well...

 

HELP!!!!!!

Advice? I really want to do NaNoWriMo the way it was designed...for writing...but, as you can see, I'm in a quandary...