It's Monday afternoon, and I'm supposed to be editing.
It's not that I don't want to edit, per se. It's that every time I read it, the letters seem to rearrange themselves into, "This sucks. You really think a good editing job is what this needs? It needs to be trashed! Who are you to do a good editing job, anyway? You wrote this the first time - what makes you think the fourth time is going to be any better?"
The reality my 'Writing Goals 2011' is starting to set in. I meant to edit in January, polish/write the query in February, and query in March. But now I'm realizing that that means editing a novel in a month. Rather, twenty days. And a little part of me is dying inside. (Especially considering the speech I promised to give this Saturday - one I've given before, but a long time ago. Ugh. And my constantly seducing sekrit project.)
So, what, if anything, is keeping me from crumpling up all these digital papers and throwing them in the recycle bin? You really want to know? My off-the-wall-amazing beta reader. Her advice and critique have been invaluable, have made the book better in leaps and bounds. I thought, perhaps, that was the extent of her awesomeness. It wasn't. :) I realize now that the constant asides to the good things about my book, the complements, the appreciation for this sentence or that character - those are what are keeping me going. The fact that she's spent so much time helping me make my story better - that's what's keeping me going.
So, thank you, awesome beta. :) :) :)
And here I go back to editing.............