Written In My Head

I thought I'd written this scene, I really thought I had. I know it so well that I could have memorized it. I've played with it, tested it, twisted it, arranged it to fit my fancy. I love it so, and I thought I had some written record of how it was supposed to pan out.

But I don't. I looked in all my files - and there are a lot. Stage I, Stage II, Stage III, Deleted Scenes... It's not there. Nor is it in my writing journal - my dear Composition Notebook full of, well, compositions. The word compositions is so lovely. It sounds like music, like symphony, and it makes you feel as if what you are composing could actually be beautiful and that people would want to experience it.

Back to this scene. I'm trying to decide if I want it in my story at all. Despite the fact that I like it - love it, rather - and have great emotional attachment, it actually muddles my plot. It involves Daniel finding out that Ivolet cut her hair before the appointed time on October 7, 18; it could also reveal too much of the Ivolet/Daniel relationship to Martin, Halt, and Quin. Another mishap. But it is such a charged scene, so full of tensions and translation. (I'm beginning to realize that I love translation, what with Kassia and all.) It could be such a great scene of surprise, and it would tell Daniel that Ivolet was the Belayer general, which he does need to know (or guess) so that he does something out of character.

But what if it doesn't work? In a perfect world, there would be an emotional conversation between the two, possibly with a kiss... No, no kiss. At this point in the story, they both know that romance is not an option. Or, Ivolet knows it. :)

I just can't leave that conversation, though! It would be so...heart-rending and heart-stopping. It really could add a lot to the angst of the story, something that I've rather faked throughout. And I simply can't wait for Ivolet and Daniel to see each other again! Perhaps I will put it in. I can always take it out, and I would like for it to be written somewhere, even if it is my poor Deleted Scenes file. And the allure of violently capturing Daniel is too much to bear.

How he is going to become uncaptured requires more thought. Ivolet won't release him. She won't, she won't, she won't! She has too much loyalty - or what she wants to be loyalty - to Belayer. Even if she knows that they're going to kill him, she won't help him escape, will she? No, she won't. She is my heroine. And country before love. Patriotism at all costs in this story. My poor, dear, darling Ivolet! So Daniel will have to get out of this scrape by himself; I know he can do that. He's quite capable. :) My worry now is that Ivolet will be suspected, especially if Martin or Halt notice anything between her and Daniel. But maybe that would be a good thing; maybe it would set the stage for the Evich raid and Martin's later hostility. There's an idea...

Perhaps this is a good thing...